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You planted thorns in my chest with hands I once trusted, and now every breath feels like an apology I shouldn’t owe.
-Larson Langston
January 11, 2025
Well, day 72 of crying. lol
I have a bump on my eyebrow that gets bigger. I’m praying that it’s cancer so I can refuse treatment and die. It wouldn’t be considered suicide then.
Bryan suggested that I write to you since I’m having such a hard time. I decided to write you here rather than in like a journal because there is a chance, though minute, that you might read it and that makes it easier to write. I can’t just write pointlessly in a journal. I wish I was actually talking to you.
Please talk to me. Please…why wouldn’t you give me a chance to defend myself? To let me explain. Why couldn’t you see I cared and tried to help?
Why did you tell me before that you didn’t want me to fake who I am only to punish me for being me when you said it was okay to be? Now I just want to kill myself because it’s just not worth being me anymore. Not that it was ever worth it before.
Considering going off all my meds. They don’t help. Nothing has changed.
I’d really like to talk to Little Collin right now. I could use some cheering up.
I really wish you would talk to me… I’m so sad….
What did I do that was so wrong?
Why was it so bad to ask you if you’re okay?
God I feel like such a horrible person.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why won’t you tell me???
I wonder if you’ll ever talk to me again? I don't think you will...
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