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You planted thorns in my chest with hands I once trusted, and now every breath feels like an apology I shouldn’t owe.

-Larson Langston

​January 19, 2025​

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Trying to get in touch with someone I met during my first stint in a mental health facility. His name is Lukas. He’s trans. We hung out once when we got out. I’m hoping I am able to connect with him again.
 
I want to talk to the Little One. 
 
I opened the app and it bumped the conversation up and I saw a message with my name. I was excited for a split second that you were talking to me again. But no. It was an old one. Now I’m really sad.
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Why am I so much worse than the people who call you a pedophile?
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What did I do wrong?
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What’s wrong with me that you hate me so much?
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Why do you hate me?
 
Why does everyone hate me?
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I just want to know. Just tell me why you hate me.
 
We haven’t gone to bed yet, but technically it’s the next day. lol But I managed not to vomit, lose another pound, or cry. I also ate something. lol That’s a win.
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