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You planted thorns in my chest with hands I once trusted, and now every breath feels like an apology I shouldn’t owe
-Larson Langston
January 29, 2025
So it’s been about a month since I started Prozac for my OCD. My psych had high hopes for these meds. She made it sound like it was going to be this magical cure. Now I believe her. I can’t believe how much these meds have helped me. My brain was like a canyon before where I was yelling horrible thoughts into it and they would reverberate off the walls over and over again. And then more thoughts would be yelled and THEY would start echoing. But the first continued and then there was another and they didn’t end. They just stacked on each other and would continue to repeat. Over and over again, one on top of the other.
Now they’re gone. I still have negative thoughts. I still cry, but it’s quieter. I don’t scream or yell. It doesn’t last for hours. The thoughts come and then they go. It’s unbelievable what a difference it has made and I’m not to the highest dose yet. I never knew my brain could be so quiet. I can actually hear the words in a conversation without my thoughts layered on top of it. Though I still can’t follow them. I wish you were talking me. Then I would know it was working definitely and not just the time that has passed.
So the bad part is that it has caused me to be unable to tell when I’m hungry. Then, with my stomach issues, I get sick if I forget to eat. So now that I can’t tell when I’m hungry, I get sick and half the time I vomit. I've also realized that certain foods make me sick as well. But I don’t want to stop the meds because it’s helped so much. I cry when I do.
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